Schaffer's

Duties of the Bridal Party

MAID OF HONOR OR HONOR ATTENDANT (MALE). The maid of honor is arguably the most important member of the bridal party, and should be able to provide plenty of help and emotional support for the bride up to and during the wedding. She should also be willing to help the bride with many aspects of preparing for the wedding, including selecting a wedding gown, selecting gowns for the bridesmaids, arranging fittings for the bride and bridesmaids, addressing invitations, and other preparations. The maid of honor is responsible for planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Before the ceremony the maid of honor should help the bride and bridesmaids with their dresses and other preparations. During the ceremony, the bridesmaid should stand next to the bride, make adjustments to the bride’s veil and train, hold the groom’s wedding ring, and hold the bride’s flowers when needed. At the reception, the maid of honor usually offers a toast. The maid of honor is a legal witness of the marriage and signs the marriage certificate, so she must be at least 18.

BRIDESMAIDS. Being a bridesmaid is quite an honor. You are being asked to be an important part of the most important day of the bride’s life, but this requires a willingness to help and a substantial financial commitment. Bridesmaids should be willing to help with miscellaneous preparation for the wedding when asked by the bride and maid of honor. They should help prepare for the bridal shower, and should be present at the bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and wedding reception. They often assist in caring for the ring bearer and flower girl before the ceremony. Bridesmaids are usually expected to pay for most of their expenses, including their dress, hair, and makeup.

PERSONAL ATTENDANT. A personal attendant acts as “traffic control" for your ceremony and reception. This person should be very well organized and a good problem-solver. The duties of the personal attendant are varied depending on the needs of the bride, but usually include things like transporting your gown and accessories, helping you dress, keeping an emergency kit handy (makeup, aspirin, safety pins, etc.), taking notes during gift opening and at the bridal shower, and generally keeping things moving along smoothly. A good personal attendant should be able to address problems before the bride even knows about them. She should also be present at the bride’s 2nd or 3rd gown fitting to help.

FLOWER GIRL. The flower girl walks down the aisle before the bride and carries a basket of flowers to sprinkle on the carpet in front of the bride. The appropriate age for a flower girl is between 3-10 years.

MOTHER OF THE BRIDE. The mother of the bride should be supportive, help the bride with creating a guest list and finding a gown, and keep guests happy at the reception.

MOTHER OF THE GROOM. The groom’s parents traditionally host the rehearsal dinner and pay for the alcohol and bar service at the wedding reception.

How to give a wedding toast

It is quite an honor to be a part of someone’s wedding, but you may still get butterflies at the thought of addressing a room full of people. Take a deep breath, and keep the following things in mind while crafting the perfect toast for their special day.

START EARLY. You’ve probably heard this from every English teacher in your life. Begin writing your toast early and keep re-writing until you’ve reached perfection. You may want to begin by writing down everything you can think of, and then remove things until you’re happy with the result. Finally, ask someone you trust to give you their honest opinion and edit your speech.

STAY ON TOPIC. Everyone in the room is there for one reason: to be with the bride and groom on their special day. You may have some great stories about your buddies in college, but try to stay focused on the new couple. Also, keep in mind who the audience is. If you’re addressing a room full of mature individuals, it would be wise to avoid vulgarity and jokes that many people won’t understand.

KNOW YOUR STYLE. Many of the best toasts are sweet, funny, or both. The type of speech you give should depend on your personality and relationship with the couple. You should begin by stating who you are and what your relationship is to the bride or groom. You might be able to talk about how they met, romantic re-tellings of important moments in their lives, or mention specific things about their personalities that make them great for each other. You don’t need to try too hard. Use your history and relationship with the couple as your guide. For the bride and groom giving a toast, focus on each other and what makes your relationship special.

KEEP IT SHORT. A good toast should be only as long as it needs to be. Anything longer than a few minutes is usually over-doing it. Practicing before-hand will help you get a good idea of length, which brings us to the next point…

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT. When your toast is written and refined, practice out loud in front of a mirror or other people until you know it by heart. It is okay to have notes with you as you give the toast, but you shouldn’t use them as a crutch. Plenty of practice will settle your stomach on the big day, and you’ll give a better performance.

WRAP IT UP. Toasts are usually ended by raising your glass and congratulating the bride and groom. Be sure to take a small drink from your glass as you end the toast. Silently congratulate yourself on a job well done.

Choosing gifts for the Bride and Groom from the Wedding Party

Although the Bride and Groom more than likely have registered for gifts, it isn’t uncommon for members of the bridal party to buy a gift not on the registry. Generally it is more personalized or a little more elaborate than a set of dishes or a picture frame. Don’t feel limited to buying a gift just for the Groom if your a Groomsmen or likewise for Bridesmaids. It might be easier or more appropriate to buy a gift for the couple.

If you want to go over the top, you might consider combining your resources with the other groomsmen or bridesmaids or among the whole party and getting something even more elaborate.

There are no real rules on what to get, so be thoughtful with your choice and make it memorable.